How to get your children to listen!!

“My child does not listen to me!”
“I have to repeat the same instructions a hundred times and still it doesn’t get done!”
“Ive given up. I just do all the work myself so I don’t get into arguments with my children.”

Is this your story? Do you find yourself getting stressed repeating instructions like, 'brush your teeth', 'Do your homework', 'clean up your room', or 'go to bed'?
It can be really frustrating and stressful for parents! We often get into the pattern of telling our child to do something, then telling them again 10 minutes later, and again 30 minutes later when we notice that she still hasn't done what we asked!
Your child has probably developed several strategies to put things off as long as possible like
• distract you by whining, bringing up something else she has to do right now (like watching the rest of her "favorite" tv program)
• starting an argument
• ignoring you
Since you are probably busy doing something, it's easy to forget for a moment that she has not done what you asked. When you have to ask her again, you are just a little bit frustrated. The third time - you are angry, and a simple request becomes a source of tension and conflict.

Let’s see how you can change this.. YES unbelievable but you can!

The following are simple steps to follow each time you ask your child to do something. They take just a little bit more time and attention at the first request, but will save time and frustration in the long run. With practice, they will become a habit. The results will be less frustration, anger, and stress for you and more respect, compliance, and self-discipline from your child.

1. Decide in your own mind what you want the child to do and the time frame you will accept for her compliance - immediately, within 15 minutes, whatever.
2. Get her attention. Begin with making eye contact. Don't yell it from the kitchen. If you are busy in another room, ask the child to come to you before you make the request.
3. Tell her specifically what you want her to do. "Go brush your teeth right this minute so you can get to school on time."
4. Watch to make sure she starts to do what you asked.
5. Praise her for doing what you asked. (Don't leave out this step!)
6. If she does not begin doing what you asked or does not complete the task, then reconfirm, ask her "What did I ask you to do?"
7. If she correctly tells you what you asked her to do, say, "That's good, now do it."
8. If she does not do what you asked then - STOP THE WORLD - the child does not do another thing until she does what you asked.
9. If the child begins to throw a temper tantrum or continues to avoid doing what you asked, put her in a short time-out. When she comes out tell her to do what you asked.

Don't let it go or she will learn to avoid responsibility by causing uproar.

Our Beliefs, Approaches and Strategies at the Remedial Centre

Purpose:
All children are unique and hence each one has a special need. The world is developing at a fast pace and the concepts of relationships, marriage, parenting, schooling and education are also undergoing a paradigm shift. People all over the world are facing adjustment related issues in all arenas. Children are struggling with the stimulating fast paced media and the boredom in classrooms.

There is an increasing tribe of “special needs” children with ADD/ADHD/Dyslexia and behavioral issues more so due the inadequacies in the educational system, parenting, nuclear setups and several other factors.

There is hence, a need for Special Educators and Counselors to step in and bridge this gap, to enable the psychosocial adjustment of these children and to facilitate learning through child-centric, tailor-made resources.

Philosophy:
Every child whether attention deficit, hyperactive, gifted or a slow learner all can become valuable and contributing citizens of the world with guidance.
All humans are basically good and are able to find solutions to their problems with a little help to have that insight.

Self awareness and Self-reliance is a central tenet of our Processes
Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity, Dyslexia, Autism Features:
Dyslexics are extremely unique, talented, creative and entertaining
people. When properly trained and informed, a dyslexic can use their natural abilities to shift perceptions, enhance creativity, refine thinking, and improve physical performance.

The dyslexic has stronger abilities to analyze complex ideas and resolve ambiguities. These are the inventors and the change leaders of tomorrow. They can think in ways alien to the normal minds.
They can even overcome and learn social behaviors to a large extent when love, trust, understanding and help are extended by parents and teachers.

Goals:
To help parents, educators and teacher educators understand that the true meaning of education is for us to evolve- as better humans, as better citizens to enable us to live in peace and tranquillity. Education is not participation in the rat race to get ranks, to land in good jobs and take a fat salary home.

To bring about the awareness for the need and importance of special education/educators in the education system

To make this service available and affordable to each and every child in need, in every school by sensitizing all teachers to identify and accommodate their special needs

To enable parents to discover, accept and respect the unique abilities of their child and help them to cultivate these abilities

To enhance the lives of those we meet

• By helping them face demanding and challenging situations
• To have an optimistic attitude, enthusiasm and sound mental & social wellbeing
• To enjoy life to the fullest and pursue their goals with confidence
• To live each day with faith, confidence, individual worth, knowledge, good work and integrity through continued personal progress and education

Our Approach:

We accept the child as an unique individual irrespective of his difficulties. We look at the Disabilities presented in the reports as a deviation to the so called “normal”. For us there is no ‘normal’ because we understand that the human race is evolving and the children being born in the last 10 years or so, with all kinds of labels, are different and may be so for a reason.

We strive to help the child adapt and adjust to the existing world, giving him the skills and strategies, that will not only allow him to be a contributing member of the family and society, but also empower him to be happy and contended within himself.

We facilitate learning that comes from a three pronged approach - Accept, Illume and Transform. Our teachers respect, care for and empower the children by allowing them to harness their inner potential by using their unique gifts.

Our methodologies and teaching aids are catered to fill the gaps in Learning -Academic, Communication And Social. We have worked with children with Dyslexia, Slow Learners, Mild Autism, Aspergers, ADD and ADHD.

The child is an important decision maker in the Intervention Process and most times the child leads the way the remediation is planned and executed. This is our first step in enhancing communication. The child learns to communicate what he wants.

We emphasise a lot on Perceptual Training that helps the child to pay attention to relevant stimuli which is an important factor for both academic & social learning. We have seen children making great strides of improvement after attending our remedial within a day/week at times.

Skills are taught in context. For eg. if a child has problem in writing, we help the child to apply whatever the child has learnt to read that day in creative writing. Remediation in writing is done on the go as the child writes. This helps to safeguard the self-esteem and build confidence by enabling the child to put the skill into practice immediately while retaining his creativity.

Broad objectives in our Remedial Program :

• Attention building
• Visual and Auditory Sequencing Skills
• Visual and Auditory Figure Ground
• Oral Language
• Reading, Writing, Spelling, Math and Written Expression
• Social Communication Skills
• Behaviour Management
• Increasing Confidence
• Study Skills

Other Services:

• Identification of Learning Difficulties, Behavioral, Emotional and other issues that interfere in the learning process of children including referral for educational/psychological assessments or any other professional help
• Interventions – Remedial and Counseling for children with learning difficulties, adolescents, gifted and slow learners
• Workshops for parents and teachers in handling different learning needs, cognitive, emotional and behavioral issues in children
• Vocational Guidance for Grade 8-12
• Life Skills workshops for Personality Development in Children
• Counseling Interventions – Psychosocial, Academic, Cognitive, Emotional, Personal and Behavioral Modification Needs
• Group Counseling Interventions
• Setting Up Resource Rooms for Schools
• Setting up Counseling Kiosks at Schools